hey
so
i don't sleep any more.
melly doesn't talk to me much...but she always seems to talk to nathan.
he called me a "stupid emo fag." earlier.
his new friends don't like me,
he's trying to fit in i get it,
molly is a pain she won't sleep
-
i neglect everyone
i make everyone feel bad
my mum cares and i push her away
life is complicated.
-
i'm bored
message me

hey mum is very protective she really doesn't let me spend any time alone its suffocation. im ok, tired and bored and sick of counselling. i see her once a week and she treats me like im five. i dont like it. how is everyone?

Melly left an hour ago.
The removal van is sat outside her house.
Her and Joel are packing it up.
Everything in the house is silent.
Even my baby brother and sister aren't making a noise.
No one knows if I'm awake. I keep drifting off
My brother told them all to leave me alone, and let me have my space.
I really do love him.
 

 
So last night after I got off, I led in bed staring at the ceiling, and then my door opened, and my brother walked in.
 
Melly was asleep and he snuck away to come and see me. So he sat on the edge of my bed and I sat up and looked at him. I could see he was about to cry, and I've never seen him cry before, so I knew he was upset. I crawled across my bed and hugged him, and he hugged me. He started saying how sorry he was and how much he loved me and asking if I was ok. but IDK. we sound so soppy but we just hugged each other and cried. I said sorry, and he said it wasn't my fault, and i said i still felt bad, and he told me not to, he checked out my face properly to make sure there was no lasting damage, which thankfully there isn't. Then after we'd hugged and cried and talked he was about to leave, but i didn't want him to, so i asked him to stay until i fell asleep, like he used to whenever i had a nightmare. So I got back into bed, and he sat next to me, watching tv and i don't know what time he left, but i woke up at six, my brother woke up at seven and went downstairs and told everyone in the house to give me a day to myself to recover.
 
Mum brought some cake up earlier and gave me a hug which was nice, and now I'm sat here feeling quite pathetic, and my face hurts.
 
But I guess it's a learning experience.
 

Now i just feel empty i think. I guess it'll be that way for awhile until i truly realise what's happened, but i'm glad the family is cool again.
 
:)
talk to me.
I'm lonely.

going now
i feel sick
i'm worried
but i'll be ok
ew
arguments
and stress
ew
ew
ew

A - Available: yep most definitely xD

B - Birthday: 27 August

C - Crushing on: a lot of celebrities and no one i know

D - Drink You Last Had: water

E - Easiest Person To Talk To: my doggy and tons of people on here

F - Favorite Song right now: S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
 
G - Gummy Bears Or Gummy Worms: neither they both make me feel sick :c
 
H - Hometown: London

I - In love with: you!

K - Killed Someone: an ant... when I was six :c poor anthony

L - Longest Car Ride: 14 hours

M - Milkshake Flavor: stawbleberry

N - Number Of Siblings: 1 older brother, one younger brother, 2 older sisters and one younger sister C:

O - One wish: To be able to truly say "yeah, i lived" before i die

P - Person That Called You Last: my ex D:

R - Reason To Smile: im happy

S - Song You Last Sang: Sarah Smiles

T - Time You Woke Up: I havem't been to sleep yet Dx

U - Underwear Color: pokemon coloured o.o

V - Vegetable: cabbage
W-Weirdest Habit: i make guinea pig noises involuntarily when i'm stressed xD

X - X-rays You've Had: none

Y - Years Living Where You Live: since i was born xD
Z- Zodiac sign: Libra
 
RANDOM QUESTIONS!!!

Spell your name without vowels: jy
 
What color do you wear most? black
Least favorite colors: neon ones.
 
What are you listening to: my laptop whirr and my house creak
What is your favorite lesson in school?: art
When do you start back at school/college?: 3rd of september :c
 
Are you outgoing?: Yep im a freak
 
Favorite pair of shoes?: my old beat up black converses
 
Walk with your toes curled?: depends
 
THE DO'S

Do you believe there is life on other planets?: maybe
Do you believe in miracles?: nope
 
Do you believe in magic?: yep
 
Love at first sight?: most definitely
 
Do you believe in Santa?: I don't believe in Santa, I KNOW in Santa
 
Do you like roller coasters?: Yes
 
Have you ever been on a plane?: no....
 
Have you ever asked someone out?: Yes C:
 
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: yep
 
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yep.
 
Have you almost drowned in the ocean?: yeah :c
 
What is the temperature outside?: about five degrees celcius
 
What radio station do you listen to?: any rock radio station or my ipod
 
What was the last thing you bought?: eyeliner a s a joke
 
What was the last thing on TV you watched?: family guy
 
Who was the last person you took a picture of? my evil kitty
Ever really cried your heart out?: i think so....
 
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: no
 
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: never

Ever cried over the opposite sex?: yep
 
Do you cry when you get an injury: not anymore
 
Do songs make you cry?: yes :'(
 
Are you a happy person?: usually
 
What is your current hair color?: dark brown
 
CURRENTLY WEARING?

What are you wearing?: my boxers
 
Your eye color?: hazel.
 
Short or long hair?: shoulder length :d
Height?: 5' 8"

WHAT TO DO: Fill out these questions and make a new Set called 'ABC About Me Quiz' Then tag 20 people. If I tagged you, YOU HAVE TO take this survey and repost it! Don't forget to tag me because I want to know more about you! :)
Now I Tag:
@jennanicole
@anotheryouthfuldream
@allweknowisfalling
@becky-rides-horses
@goats-and-unicorns
umm yeah :D
night!

@lifecando-terriblethings
@jennanicole
the i have
gumfrey the elephant
bill and ben the monkey lemur things
and jordan the sloth
 
C:
mesa is happy.

i'd wear these all the freaking time
look at that sloth
holy shit
i want oooonnneeeeee
ok bye

mum wants to go watch Harry Potter for the fifth time -.-' she's cried every time so far :( and and and... yeah ummmm first we're going to eat then we're going to see hp at like... 9 and then i think mum wanted to go shopping -_- i'll try and be back when i can C: bye bye

okokok
i need a shooooower
C:
feel free to join me
;]